It is one thing for you to think about moving in together and structuring your lives as a couple if your relationship has not been going on for a very long time or is not considered to be very serious. In this circumstance, it is necessary to take your time and conduct an impartial and thorough evaluation of the situation. Consider how compatible you and the other person are, whether or not you are at ease with one another, and whether or not you have the same goals for the relationship.
It is an entirely different situation when the two of you have been together for a considerable amount of time, everything is going well for you, and it would appear that it is time for you to move in together, but something prevents you from doing so. You don’t mind going on to a new stage in your relationship, but some things fear you, confuse you or make you feel anxious. You don’t mind moving on to a new stage in your relationship. We have compiled a list of some of the most common reasons people put off moving, and you may find one of them helpful.
7 reasons I don’t want to move in with my girlfriend
1. You have the misconception that living together means having constant control
When you live in different places, the only way you can influence decisions on one another is through phone calls or social media. Do not worry that the other person will disapprove of your behaviours or have a bad reaction to them, and do not change the habits that you have established. None of you reports every time that you go out. You have more freedom, including the freedom to choose, the freedom to move about, and the choice to dedicate or not dedicate a loved one at specific periods in your life. If you lived together, you would undoubtedly limit yourselves and give up some of this freedom.
You may fear being dominated by another person: you’ll be forced to say something you don’t want to, do something you’re not used to, or change the way of life that you’ve maintained for years. But here’s some food for thought for you: until you move in with your girlfriend, you won’t know whether all of your fears are real or not. Until then, you won’t know whether to move in with your girlfriend. If you respect one another, you won’t have any power struggles. You are grownups with no right to exercise authority over those you care about.
2. You are concerned about losing your privacy
Possibly, you no longer have the habit of being close to others. Your impression is that living in confined spaces inevitably reduces personal space, if not its complete elimination. You believe that you cannot be alone with yourself, keep items in the locations familiar to you, or create an environment conducive to your well-being while you are at home.
When you decide to move in together, many things will change. However, it would help if you did not make a drama out of this situation because there is a solution to every problem. You both have jobs, families, friends, and hobbies, so you won’t be able to spend 24 hours a day together. If you need to be by yourself, you can be open with the girlfriend about your situation, and the two of you will find out how to resolve this issue. If the case is particularly bad, you can consider renting a two-room apartment so that everyone can have the chance to be alone with you at some point.
3. You are concerned that you will become tired of each other
You may be concerned that living together may kill the spark in your relationship. You won’t be waiting around for each new meeting, you won’t be telling each other stories about how your day went, and you won’t be sending each other messages till late at night. Nothing is as simple as it may initially appear. To begin, if either of you or both of you have jobs, you won’t be able to spend as much time together throughout the week, and you will likely only be able to spend time together in the evenings and on the weekends.
Secondly, you have other responsibilities that require you to devote some of your spare time to those areas, for instance, to practice hobbies or get-togethers with family and friends. Doing everything together simply because you are a couple is odd, even if you are familiar with some of the other’s closest friends and family.
Finally, if you first attract each other’s interest with something other than appearance, you will be interested. The more time you spend together, the greater the depth of a particular topic that will attract your attention during times of conversation or when participating in activities together.
4. You are concerned that you are moving too quickly, and this causes you anxiety
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been dating—a few months, six months, or even several years—discussing the possibility of moving in together or trying to live together will still make you anxious. You might be concerned that you are making your plans too soon to become acquainted enough to share a life, spend most of your leisure time together, and so on.
It is essential to gain an understanding of the factors that contribute to your uncertainties. It is one thing if you are not certain that sufficient time has gone to move on to the next natural level of the relationship, but that is only the case if they are serious about what they want. And things are totally different if you don’t see a future with your girlfriend or if you worry that you won’t be able to get along with her personality.
If you love her and want to take things seriously for both of you, you should not delay moving in together. The greatest method to determine how comfortable you are with each other and how similar your points of view are on some everyday concerns is to get together and put things into practice. This will give you the most accurate picture possible.
5. You think that it will be difficult for you to build a joint life
Building a life with another individual, regardless of who you choose to share your living space with, is always challenging. When you see the same individual regularly and spend significant time with a person, you only get to know that person from one perspective. Another thing that can happen is that a person you think you know very well can surprise you by revealing themselves in an entirely different way once you start living with them. Remember that perfect individuals do not exist, and your loved ones are just as forced to come to terms with your inadequacies as you are forced to come to terms with their own. Although these revelations will not always be pleasant for you, remember that ideal people do not exist.
You will find it challenging at first, but after a few days or weeks, when you have been accustomed to one another’s habits and traits, you will be able to objectively assess how at ease the two of you are with one another. In general, worrying about things you do not yet know the answer to is not productive. You won’t know if you’ll get along with someone until you give it a shot.
6. You are concerned about your financial situation
You might be concerned about monetary matters, for instance, as a result of a misunderstanding regarding the budget that you will stick to, which of you will pay for the apartment and, the amount that each of you will contribute, how you will continue to pay the rent in the circumstance that one of you experiences temporary difficulties, and so on.
Before you move in together with the girlfriend, you should have a conversation with her about all of these questions since they are significant. Suppose you can come to an agreement on all the financial issues that are important to you. In that case, you will be able to start living together without having to worry about potential misunderstandings or disappointments.
It would help if you did not get together until you have determined where you stand on this matter. The two of you may have opinions so radically opposed to one another that your relationship will eventually be doomed. It is important to remember that you should discuss everything, and the sooner you bring up topics that are important to you in a conversation, the better.
7. You believe that it will be more difficult for you to end the relationship
It would appear that breaking ties is a lot less of a challenge for you now that the two of you live in separate places. There is no need to sort through belongings, figure out who owes how much money for an apartment, divide jointly acquired property, or contact family members and friends to find a place to stay the night. All of these efforts are unnecessary. When each of you gets your own place to live, you won’t need the other quite as much because you won’t be as dependent on them. If you and your significant other decide to end your relationship, you can rest assured that you will not be required to relocate and will not have to stretch your brain to find solutions to any other pressing issues.
However, if you continuously focus on the distant future, which is unlikely to be as awful as your imagination suggests, you will miss out on an excellent opportunity to improve your life. Put an end to your habit of constantly mulling over the repercussions of your actions. There is no way to know for certain that the relationship you are in will last a lifetime; nonetheless, this should not be used as an excuse to delay moving on to the next stage of their development.