Certain aspects of a person’s personality are worthy of respect, like their ability to compromise, politeness and decency, and ability to put themselves in the shoes of another. It is vitally crucial that you do not mistake several concepts that are essentially the same. It is possible that by striving to conform to the desired image or the expectations of another individual, you are putting the needs of the other person ahead of your own.
This has many unfavourable consequences. For instance, because you have a finite amount of resources, such as time, money, and energy, you may be forced to dedicate all of these to the need of another person, even though this may result in your wants and requirements going unfulfilled. If you don’t watch out, the people in your life will start taking advantage of you. When a person sees that you are willing to forget about yourself, he will not let you down because you have shown that you will become used to a positive attitude very soon.
We have compiled a list of activities in which you prioritize the needs and interests of others over your own. If any of the following descriptions sound familiar to you, it is strongly recommended that you reevaluate your priorities as soon as possible.
1. Cancelling the plans, you have made for other people
When you have the opportunity to help, you should take advantage of it. If you have something scheduled for the weekend, you shouldn’t immediately cancel everything you’ve been waiting for when the first person calls you. This is especially true if you already have plans for the weekend. In any case, you and your comfort level ought to take precedence. This does not apply to circumstances in which the life or health of another person is dependent on your actions, but I think you get the point.
You do not have to call off your plans; rather, if you want to be of assistance, you should make an effort to work the other person’s request into your available schedule. If for some reason, that does not work for him, he can always seek assistance from another individual.
2. Giving the last of your money
Sharing and helping should be done when you have something in excess. If you have a lot of money to spare, it’s okay to lend some, but if you have a penny before your paycheck and have to live on it for a week, it’s crazy to lend money. Especially if that money isn’t going to be used for basic necessities, in general, get out of the habit of subjecting yourself to suffering and hardship so that someone else gets another reason to be happy.
3. Engaging in activities that will make you feel very uncomfortable
If you are required to do anything that will make you feel uneasy about fulfilling the requirements or needs of another person, it is advisable to refuse to gently perform what is required of you. Avoid, if at all possible, finding yourself in a position where you have to react positively to who you are, your beliefs, your values, your routines, and so on. In most cases, this will not result in anything positive. While the other person may receive what they want, you will be left alone with your conscience and various unfavourable emotions.
Accept only those things that won’t make you feel awkward. You have to learn to appreciate yourself, your interests and feelings, and not get hung up on making someone else feel good in the first place.
4. Being willing to give up what you desire
It is highly controversial if you have to sacrifice something you like to assist another person in need. There are circumstances in which it is acceptable to do so, such as when you have no actual concern for the outcome of the situation at hand or when the demands of your significant other are more pressing.
But you have to acknowledge that circumstances like these don’t come around very often. Most of the time, you are doing nothing more than putting the needs and desires of other people ahead of your own.
5. Agreeing to disadvantageous terms
A compromise must suit both parties, otherwise, there is no point in looking for common ground at all. If you want to solve a problem peacefully, offer terms that are advantageous to both you and the person you are talking to. Otherwise, if you agree to something that you absolutely do not need, does not satisfy your needs and desires, or leaves an unpleasant residue, the deal is meaningless. You’re just trading your interests for someone else’s comfort for the sake of avoiding a fight or not offending the person. Remember that you and your feelings are just as valuable, so the sacrifice is unnecessary.
6. You say what they want you to say
You put other people’s needs ahead of your own if you tell them what they want to hear. When you do it without any self-interest and know that you strongly disagree, well, you’re afraid of hurting someone’s feelings, or you’re just avoiding conflict. But there are situations when you have to choose: either you tell the truth and breathe out in relief, or you keep lying, losing your respect. In that case, you should almost always prefer the first option.
7. Motivated by guilt and a sense of responsibility
The most challenging circumstance is when you feel obligated to put the needs of others ahead of your own, whether out of guilt or a sense of responsibility. If this is the case, you need to free yourself of the fear that you might let someone down or offend them. It is very challenging to give the impression to other people that one is self-absorbed and only concerned with themselves. You can put your wants and requirements on the back burner whenever you make judgments.
You have a fundamental concept to understand: you are not accountable for the feelings of the people in your immediate environment. How they respond is none of your business as long as you don’t do anything to hurt them and try to maintain as much civility in the conversation as you can. It is up to each individual to choose how to conduct themselves in any given circumstance.
8. Contributing to your own downfall
When you provide someone with your assistance, you should always consider in advance whether it will be detrimental to you and your life. When one helps others, one often ends up hurting themselves. If such is the case, your efforts will not be worthwhile. Of course, the person you helped will have a happy and quiet life. Suppose you understood from away what was in store for you. In that case, however, you could have prepared yourself to deal with the consequences of your extreme generosity, which sometimes approached the level of absurdity.
9. Performing your duties without payment or compensation
Relatives, friends, colleagues, or acquaintances who ask you for a favor or favor will, in most cases, underestimate how much time and effort it will take you to fulfill their request. What you do at work for a fee shouldn’t be done for everyone else after your shift is over for nothing. Your interest is to make money from what you know and can do, and those around you need to get a service or product for free. Understandably, it can be difficult to take money from those close to you, but asking them for a return favor or some other reward for your labor is appropriate, no matter with whom you do business.