The best marriages are those between two persons who choose each other each day, who make the sacrifices that are needed for their relationship, who love and respect each other, and above all, who are constructive in their arguments and are willing to compromise.
Here are 9 questions you need to ask your partner before you decide that he/she is the one you should marry.
1. Why do you need to spend your life with me?
This question is fundamental since the answer to it will let you know about your partner’s social and psychological needs as well as what they look for in a partner. If they focus on your look or your financials, it is not a good sign. Their answer must be deeper than that. Only if they love your personality – and you do love theirs – you could make a marriage work.
2. What’s your relationship with your parents?
If they have a bad relationship with their family, it might indicate some severe issues in your partner’s character that might emerge later in your marriage. On the other hand, if your partner is very close with their family, they might not always put your marriage first, and their parents might be still a number one priority for them. Keeping a middle ground is the best answer.
3. Are you willing to compromise some of your goals for the sake of our marriage?
This question can demonstrate what priority has your relationship in your partner’s life. If they aren’t willing to take a step aside and align their goals with yours, it means that they’re selfish, and their plans and desires will always come before you. Compromise is an essential ingredient that every successful relationship (and marriage) contains.
4. Can we make it work during bad times?
Marriage isn’t all about roses. Even the most compatible partners will face some conflicts and differences in their opinions. Having a great wife or husband beside you means not only that you enjoy the good times, but also that you endure together the bad ones.
5. Can we keep the romance alive?
It’s natural that the passion and infatuation will fade over time. Still, having a partner who understands how significant it is to keep the spark alive is the dream. A partner, who not only understands you but also finds ways of keeping the romance alive is someone who will make an ideal spouse.
6. Are you ready to grow with me and independently?
This is another important question as it will let you know whether your partner understands the endless work and effort that a marriage needs and whether he/she is familiar with the nature of intimate relationships. In successful marriages, partners understand they need to grow together and separately: they need to have things to do as a pair as well as separate hobbies and interests.
7. Do you want to have kids?
Not all people want to have kids, and that should be respected. However, if you want to have kids, you need to know whether your partner has decided he/she never wants to be a parent. Of course, if it’s you who doesn’t want kids, you should tell them before you get married.
8. What kind of parent do you wish to be?
If you and your partner both want kids, then you need to learn his/her parenting skills early in the relationship, as it can save you a lot of trouble later. This topic is critical for every successful marriage. Discussing what would be your parenting style is a topic on which you need to agree before getting married and before the kids come.
9. How important is sex to you?
Many people claim that a couple’s sex life dies after marriage. However, that usually happens because of lack of communication. You need to ask your partner what he/she expects from your sexual life, and you need to answer this question yourself as well. Communication is the key to a healthy sex life – as long as there is chemistry!